Im back..not with a bang

So its been over 6 months I haven't even looked at this page all I can say is Shame Shame Shame...All my fault I just got sucked into the Mumbai masala and the Advertising so called Glamour....LOL for the Glamour part

Haan so the next question is what got me back...no it's not boredom...no not some life changing heavy duty life experience or event not even the fact that I wanted to write for a long time now just I was just lazy... Taaaanaaaaa its my stupid cold cough and neck pain.

Basically I have a horrible cold that me sound like a grumpy angry man...my cough that makes me wanna vomit and my neck pain that makes me wanna beat up everything to my left and right.

So got back early from work slept like a freaky baby till 7 pm and now I'm wide awake. I have all the time in the world to kill and thought ill start with a blog..

Finally in true swapna / filmy estylee

This is just Begining....

New name...Old Me !!!

So as I was preparing for my so called new phase of life and out of the blue one very highly enlightened gentleman mentioned "pehle ka kuch barabar nahi tha" he was talking about my blog name. When I gave it a thought I couldn't agreed more. My previous blog name was what I felt at that very time but it wasn't me.... I guess your state of mind and who you are can be poles apart. But the cool thing is that the action has been taken and so the New name...Old Me, thats how my blog got this new feisty name.

As I have learnt in my MBA classes that taking someone's words or ideas as if they were your own is Plagiarism, and plagiarism is a big NO NO so I give full credit to who's idea it was. JAI HO BABA !! narayan hari vitthal vitthal !!

My blog has a name thats me... Will that make me blog more often...

SNOW..

I want this post to be very positive because I'm trying to write about something that i really don't like. Snow is not one of my most favorite things in the world. It didn't really bother me when I got to this country. I remember the day I landed in this country, I was very gracefully welcomed by snow. Everything was white, at first I was excited I played with it, made snowman, had snow fights, looked at each flake closely, admired the beauty of it, said wow and the best part of all this was I didnt feel cold I was fine. It really did not bother me at all infact I liked it. But as the second winter came by the excitement was all gone. I didn't care if it was around or no, there were not snowman, no snow fights, no snow flakes and definitly no WOW. I was just too busy doing my stuff and working at the college for long hours, it was such long hours that I didn't even know when it snowed and when the snow was cleared out, so it didn't really matter except the cold I frooze this winter. But now as its my third winter it matters it is a very very very huge part of my life which I totally dislike for the simple reason because I drive. Every little thing from sitting in a cold car to not being able to move the car from the parking lot to the car skidding while your driving everything has effected me. After trying a million times I have come to a conclusion that I cannot drive my car when it snows and there is no solution to it. And most importantly I am cold all the time there is not even a single second when I feel like my body is fine my nose bleeds my toes are cold my hair has static and the list goes on and on.
I tried to keep myself as positive as I could but sometimes its better to let out your frustration here so that i am happier in real. Or atleast I can try in winter !!!

Little things that get a big smile on my face...

Today was just another day, it was wired because I wasn't happy nor was I sad about anything. I couldn't figure out what this feeling is called. So half the day I was pondering about what to call this wired feeling. I really didn't get an answer so I just forgot about it. So getting back to my day.. that usual was on I work up had nothing to do so I facebooked got bored and watch T.V. got bored, tried to read an e-book got bored, looked out of my window...got very very very bored, got back to watching T.V.... didn't really make a difference still got bored, facebooked...now I was getting restless and bored, walked around the house, took a shower, made a few phone calls and by the time I finished all of this it was 9:30 Pm and I was still bored. So I decided to get a cup of coffee and write about this wired day. Believe it or now the moment I got this hazelnut flavoured hot coffee and I took a sip of it, I don't know what got into me but I had this huge smile on my face and I realized that I was happy. I couldn't stop smiling and I did not know the reason why. One hot cup of Hazelnut coffee got a huge smile on my face and made me happy...wired..but i like it

Happy Birthday Me...

2k10 ( doesn't even look like a year)...My first post of the year...wont really say "I wanted to write before...but" because this years is gonna be the years for no excuses, I was plain lazy so I didn't write. Also to be a little more nicer to myself I wanted to write about my 25th birthday so I waited this long :). 2nd Feb 2k10 the day I turned 25. This years started with a big big wave of mixed emotions. The year started with my full family with me so I was happy, then it was time for me to go back to the US it was sad. I got to be with my nani for the entire month and I took the best ever memories with me so I was happy. I lost her on the 17th of Jan I was very sad, I was away from my family and was not around when my mom needed me the most, but never the less she is not suffering any more and for sure she is in a much better place than all of us down here so that makes me keep my sadness aside and say its fine. My nani loved my birthday she always said that my birthday is the most favorite day of the year for her, because of two reason the first one was that she got the bestest husband on that day and the second one was that she got the bestest grand daughter too. Even though I miss her so so so much I feel my birthday is the day when I can celebrate secretly with her. So I decided that I will be the happiest on my nani's favorite day of the year.
Coming back to this years happy day it is the third year I am celebrating my birthday without my family and as much as I miss them I have to agree that the crazy family and friends I have here make sure that I feel on the top of the world this day. I love each and one of them and I will miss them like crazy when they wont be around. Turning 25 feels wired. I all of a sudden feel grown up or may be i feel I should act grown up even if I am not. Generally I don't think too much about the future cause I belive you mess up your present thing about the future but funnily the whole of my birthday all I thought about was " oh god I'm 25 and I have nothing in place". It vanished as the day passed :).
So to keep is short and simple I'm 25, I love my life and I miss you nani.

Best Gift ..

As I was packing my bags for my trip to India.. I got a million things that I have been looking for the past 6 months, but in between all the million thing I get this white envelope that has my dad's company logo, it also had To Dimpy ( that's what they call me at home) written on the top. At the button of the envelope CONFIDENTIAL is written in block big letter's. Generally when you get things like these in your bag it might scare you a little bit, but I knew exactly what it was and it got a big smile on my face.
My mom without any doubt is the best in the world. She is the kind who will do anything for her daughters but will not show it to the world, not ever to her daughter's (I mean it). My mom is different she doesn't believe in being my best friend, she says I have to be a wife, be a daughter, an elder sister to six of her siblings, a daughter in law and a sister in law (ufff) so ill stick to being you mom and reduce complications. I wasn't every thrilled of the fact that my mom was not my friends till I went to the US, because now I know why and I totally agree with her. So getting back to my mom not being a very public display of affection types didn't really bother me because I always assumed that she loved me and its not necessary to show it or to tell me that. But with this CONFIDENTIAL letter I got from her gave me the feeling that I will never ever forget my entire life.

Jai Mata Ki
Not every child has the chance to fulfil their parents wishes, you are blessed and one of the lucky few who has had the chance to make her parents proud. We sometimes just sit back and think weather its just a dream.
How fast time flew. Remember we were just thinking about house its your mom and dad's wish that you should do you MBA, and now it feels like it was the toughest decision we have ever made sending you alone. Sending a girl child that to you being the first child in the family raised a lot of eyebrows. People questioned us and a lot of questions mind you, but you have proven all of them wrong. We were definite of our upbringing and confident of your achievement. You made everyone sit back and think.
It was very difficult living without you. Everyday at night before sleeping we would think how you were, what you ate, how you would cope alone in a foreign country specially when you were so extra protected back home. But we had faith in god and knew that he was guiding you and he was sending the right people at the right time to help you.
Every time we felt low you brought a smile on our face by getting an award. You kept reassuring us that everything was worth it. You proved to everyone that girls can do better than boys. More than anything you proved to yourself that you can achieve much move and much bigger things in life. I sit back and think how you would complain about my stern and over protective nature you , you would say I'm not like normal mothers that's because I was scared, I was scared that if I would be a little more liberal with you, you would forget my dreams for you. I wanted desperately by any chance for you to be very scuessful in your life and most importantly I wanted you to achieve all this by yourself. You were brought up with very less money and there were times I felt bad about it but now I thank god for it because now I can say you know the value of money more than I do, your maturity level about life surprises me sometimes I fell I have so much to learn from you.
When I talk to your friends mothers all they say " sandhya your very lucky to have swapna because she is always so level headed and has her goals in life fixed and whatever she does she has you and her father at the back of her mind always". This is when I am proud of your upbringing and I know we have done the right job. You have supported me by listening to me when ever I need you the most, you have been the best daughter any parent can ever ask. I have always dreamt of both my daughters being very educated and successful , your success has paved the way for you sister, she will follow the same path you have taken by the grace of god. She has understood at a very young age that time once gone will never come back and we have to tap the opportunity at once. She has understood that she has to achieve the same success that you have achieved .
Lastly I want to thank you because you have not only achieved mine and you fathers dreams but mostly you have achieved my fathers dreams and you have made him proud. I pray to god that if daughters are like you I want only daughter for all my seven life's.
God bless you
Mom

This will be the best gift I will ever have in my entire life..

Thank you mom

Shhhh..I hate it...

From the time I can remember I have been a people person, I have had people around me all the time. I have been talking all the time. This has gotten me into a lot of trouble during my school days but my mom knew I wouldn't change. I love being in a crowd I don't feel lost I feel its right. One reason I love my city Mumbai because its crowded. Looking at the different people around you and the fact that you will not find two individuals who would be the same fascinates me. I love crowded theaters crowded streets my college my school my family everything that involved people I love it. When I sat down to think about how this would effect or rather how has this been effecting my life I realized that with the crowd the people came the noise, and I got used to the noise.
Who would love the sound of people yelling, traffic honking, kids crying, loud television I do. I say that I love it but if you think about it a little more you would easily say that I have got used to it, its become a habit. This habit was fine it I was in Mumbai. I didn't really care nor did I think about it so much because it was always there around me, the real challenge was when I moved to the US and got a job and I had to live alone. Oh My God !!! that's all I can say..the most difficult task of my lie at this point was to get used to being alone, not having people around me and therefor live in a place where there is complete silence that's to the fact that I live in Norwalk, Ohio where silence dwells to such an extent that I cannot take a shower at night cause I might disturb my neighbor with the NOISE. This complete transition from a ultra loud crowded place to a silent solitary unit took away the most essential need of mankind that is my SLEEP. Most people you might know around you wouldn't sleep with a lot of noise around but I would be a one of a kind that would not get sleep if the place is silent.
Now weather its a problem or its my habit or I am crazy but sleeping in silents is not my cup of tea. So when you need noise to sleep and you don't get it what did I do .....I did not sleep. It took me a couple of moths to figure out why I was not sleeping, I thought my excitement was the reason that fact that I though to much was a reason I blamed coffee, work, alcohol everything I could but it didn't make sense but at last I concluded that it was silent and I couldn't bare it. Now the next question is why don't I like silence maybe because I start thinking of things I would avoid other wise or I feel alone or simply I'm not used to it even better its just easier to just avoid silence and believe that I don't like it.
To end my confusion I don't know if I have got my long term solution but I definitely got my short term one ...To get a good night Sleep I keep my Television switched on :)